Hello Dear Friend,
Happy Sunday, as I sit and type this I am looking across the field just outside my window, it is a slightly misty day, but hopefully the sun will break through soon and brighten it up. Today is the day of the annual Walk the Wight charity walk, where energetic souls walk from one side of the island to the other, a walk of 26.5 miles from Bembridge to Alum Bay. The website says this is a Fun Walk…
There are other options, from a flat walk to a schools walk (they do the last 4 miles of the main walk), all to raise funds for the local Mountbatten Hospice. I can see lots of yellow (the hospice’s colour) and bright pink shirts, at the moment these are the early starters (6 am from Bembridge), and as the day progresses the numbers will only increase. I wish them all well in their endeavour, maybe one day I will be able to take part and help the hospice, they take care of so many islanders in their last days and weeks.
This week I want to raise the subject of self-care, now, don’t roll your eyes…
Self-Care and its importance
This topic has come up a lot for me this week, mostly thanks to Shuna Marr and the *Okay I Am Awakening Course, thank you Shuna xx
Self-care or self-love is not a quick fix which will be solved by having a makeover or buying some new clothes, rather it is something which we need to work on in order to change our attitude towards ourselves.
According to Melanie Greenberg Ph.D. self-love or self-compassion can be broken down into three initial stages -
1. Mindfulness: Having an open, curious, non-judging attitude; not over-identifying with negative stories about the self.
2. Self-kindness: Treating yourself kindly, rather than harshly. Extending the same care and support to yourself that you would to a good friend or loved one.
3. Common humanity: Allowing yourself to be human, to make mistakes and learn from them. Knowing that as humans we are not perfect, nor should we be expected to act flawlessly.
From the article 8 Powerful Steps to Self-Love, published in Psychology Today.
The article is worth a read if you are feeling negative towards yourself, as is the following article also to be found on Psychology Today’s website.
Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D. recommends that we change our attitudes toward ourselves, saying that ‘Self-love is an action, not a state of feeling good’.
She suggests we cultivate one or two of the following in order to be able to appreciate ourselves more:
Become Mindful
Act on what you need rather than what you want.
Practice good self-care.
Set boundaries.
Protect yourself.
Forgive yourself.
Live intentionally.
From the article A Seven-Step Prescription For Self-Love, by Deborah Khoshaba, on Psychology Today’s website.
Small Steps?
These seem like small steps, and you may already be practising one or all of the above. But I would like you to think about how you really do those steps…
So do you really, truly love yourself, no matter what?
Can you show compassion and kindness to yourself?
Could you show more compassion and kindness?
Are you able to shut out or shut up the negative committee in your head, I have one, and I think everyone does as well. Those voices telling you that you are not good enough, that you are too fat, too thin, too awkward, too loud, too quiet, that this outfit will fix things, or this slice of cake, or tub of ice cream...
I am a work in progress, and I am trying to be kinder to myself and accept that even if I never lose the weight or get the operation, I am enough, that I love myself just as I am, and that I will no longer put things off until ‘x or y’ criteria have been met. It is hard, I won’t pretend it is not, but unless we can love ourselves without boundaries or conditions, how can we wholeheartedly love others?
Things catching my eye this week:
This video popped up this week, and I challenge you to watch it and not smile. I mean how often do you hear the Dalai Lama talking about wind and the dilemma of not letting go in an enclosed space?
On a slightly different note - If you are interested in history and archaeology then Ancient-Origins is a site to take a look at, it is crammed full of information about historical research from around the world.
Until next time, as ever, may your angels and guides watch over you and protect you until we meet again, and remember to be kind to yourself.
You matter.
Love and Light,
Tracy
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Until next time, bye for now.
P.S.
I am currently knitting my latest Gansey commission, if you would like to follow my progress I would love it if you subscribed to my Isle of Wight Gansey Substack.
Links:
Ancient-Origins.net website
*Okay I’m Awakening - What Happens Now? Course run by Dr Shuna Marr
*Free Self-Care Video Series and Workbook by Dr Shuna Marr
8 Powerful Steps to Self-Love, published in Psychology Today
Isle of Wight Gansey newsletter.
Anything in bold and underlined is a link to the relevant article or web page. None are affiliate links, just things I hope to benefit you, or people I admire and have worked with.
Note: If there is a * these are affiliate links and may earn me a few pennies without adding to your cost. Disclosure: If you buy books linked here, I may earn a commission from Bookshop.org, whose fees support independent bookshops
I appreciate your observations and am experiencing the same things. The more I work out my own inner turmoil and listen to the still small voice, the more I am at peace.
I am no better or worse than anyone else; I simply endeavour to be my best, that includes giving and receiving love.
For many years, spiritual practitioners, would say I had a Block in my heart chakra. I would rail against that internally, thinking I am the most loving person, how could I have a blocked heart chakra. What I didn’t realize was that it was blocked from receiving and blocking either way stop the flow.
We do need to love and, except ourselves, forgive our human Ness, and reach out to others, so we can re-Member as a beautiful collective of love on earth.